Cousins...lots of cousins.

My mother was one of six children, five girls and one boy. I don't really know the age order for sure because they all lied about their ages. In truth, most of them were only a year or so apart, except for Ilene who was "the baby". The oldest aunt was Maude (named for my grandmother). Then there was Ruth, Margaret, Betty, Ilene and Uncle Eddie (named for my grandfather). I think Eddie was somewhere between my mom and Margaret. All of the family settle in Napa, Ca. That means we were one "big happy family" living in close proximity and in each others' business constantly.

At this time in 2014, Margaret is the last surviving sister. She is 91. I attribute her longevity to the fact that she married a Mormon and eschewed the family habits of smoking and drinking a long time ago. Margaret married Chester Adkinson (Uncle Chet) and they had Chester, Margaret (known as Peggy), Donna and Debbie. Uncle Chet was full blooded Cherokee and a member of the Mormon church.

Maude married Henry or Uncle Hank Ribardiere and had two children, Henry (known to the family as Heiny), and Alice.

Alice and Ralph

Although they were my first cousins,  their children were more my age. Henry had two, Peter and John Henry. Alice had two, Lisa and Terrie. Peter and I are the same age and I think we even share the same birthday. Ruth Gerlach had four children but that is a really interesting situation. Ruth was married to a man named Harvey and they had two girls named Sue and Sharon. Harvey was killed in a plane crash and Ruth married his brother Jesse who had a son named Charles from a previous marriage They had John together.

Ruth and Harvey

Uncle Jesse - that man could build or fix anything!

Eddie Daley married Sandy and they had Tommy and Sandy. Sandy lives in Santa Rosa today.
I was the late comer to the family so I was the baby cousin until Tamie came along.
Ilene had married Henry Hanson and together they had Henry (called Butch) and Jim. They divorced, Butch went with Henry and Jim went to Granny Maude. Irene later married Robert Jones (Uncle Shorty) and together they had Tamie, 3 years younger than me.

Ilene and Cousin John Gerlach's wife, Kathy

Sooooo.... as you can see there was lots and lots of cousins. We saw each other frequently - at least weekly and at every holiday occasion. Ruth and Jesse's house was the chosen spots for gathering as they had the most room and a pool. I swam in that pool every chance I got. Today, my cousin's grandchildren swim in the very same pool as my cousin's son Mark lives in the house.

Random Family Pictures

Having lots of family around was part of everyday. It was wonderful, it was awful, it was usual. I'm glad I had the opportunity to experience it. I wouldn't say I'm sorry my kids didn't have it. Just a different life.

How I Met Your Father

In 8th grade, a new family moved to the Napa Valley. Of the 4 children, Lissa Doumani was in my grade. We became friends because even though we lived about 4 miles apart, in Yountville that made us neighbor kids. We had the hour school bus ride home to bond and develop friendships. Lissa lived on a vineyard known as Stags Leap. Her father was a wealthy land developer from Los Angeles who had purchased the property with a producing vineyard and the old Chase Mansion (as in Chase-Manhattan Bank Chase) that he renovated into the "family home". It never occurred to me that they were wealthy (at the time), Lissa was just my friend and we road horses together, had makeup parties and talked about boys.
Lissa and I remained best friends throughout high school and she began dating my boyfriend's roommate. Her relationship lasted longer than mine but even after both boyfriends drifted down the road, we continued our friendship. In the summer of my senior year of high school, every time I would call the Doumanis house, some "guy" would answer the phone. Finally, I asked Lissa who was the "guy" and she said, oh, that's just Bob. He works for my dad and lives in the other house. Hmmm...guy. Well, like most teenage girls, the word GUY definitely got my attention. For now, however, "Bob" remained just a voice on the phone.
In September of 1974 I was over at Lissa's and finally met Bob. It was a Sunday and "Bob" was washing the ranch truck. Lissa and I went out and feigned interest in "helping" but in reality, it was our ploy to introduce me to Bob. Bob was 27 years old (YIKES), bearded with long blond hair - definitely my type. Working on the ranch had tanned his muscular arms and to me, he looked like Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson. Maybe that's why I've always called him Robert.

Robert Redford as Jeremiah Johnson

Robert Aitchison as Himself

We hit it off and dated a bit. After about our third date, though, he told me he had lots of girlfriends and didn't want me "getting hung up on him" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

You've GOT to be kidding! Well, what a coinkydink because I had lots of boyfriends too! We would see each other from time to time, but didn't really date again until he came back from Los Angeles in November for pruning time in the vineyards. I was doing the lights for our high school drama group and my girlfriend Nanette (now known as Shay Jardin) had met Bob and invited him to the play. We began dating a bit again but I was seeing another guy who was an identical twin of the bartender at the local music and restaurant where we all tended to congregate in Yountville. After some time though we both decided that we wanted to be exclusive to each other and started "going together". We continued that way through my senior year and when I graduated, because my parents were moving to Lake Shasta, we moved to Newport Beach and were married in Santa Ana. Robert was working at Ralph's grocery store at the time and since we were getting married on a Sunday and grocery stores paid double time on Sunday, we were married at the house of a Universal Life minister, came home and had hamburgers with avocado and Robert went to work in the late afternoon. I had purchased some flowers at the Market Basket grocery for my bouquet and bought a new pair of mint green slacks to wear. Robert wore his dad's old green suit. It wasn't fancy, but at least we were married. It was the first day of Spring - March 21, 1976. Thirty-eight years later, I still love him with all my heart.

Grandma Evans' Poems and Jingles

I was always told that these were advertisements on the side of streetcars in San Francisco. Must have been around the early 1900s.

This big policeman used to frown
as he marched grandly up and down
'til Quaker Oats brought into town
The smile that won't come off.

Little Johnny's gone to sea
He'll come back and marry me
And every day I'll feed my little man
This 10 cent can of Campbell's Condensed Soup

An old man said, "Let the blizzard blizz,
I'm not afraid that I'll get frizz
Because Quaker Oats brings to my fizz
The smile that won't come off.


Another poem she would recite for me was:

I know what I'll do
when Santa comes a' knockin'
I'll squeeze up a little and hide
behind my stockin'
And when he opens his bundle
I'll say "BOO" just for fun.
And maybe he'll drop his bundle and run.
Oooh! Wouldn't that be fun?

Our Roots - aka My Weird Family

I was blessed to know all of my grandparents.
My dad had one brother - Charles Milton Evans known as Milton. Uncle Milton was a BIG man, very sweet and looked like my dad with hair. He was married to Frances or "Auntie Fran". She was kind but my mother didn't care for her because she wouldn't let mom smoke in her house.
Grandma and Grandpa Evans were lovely people. Clyde Russell Evans was tall and lean with wire frame glasses. He had been the editor of a newspaper in Rodeo, California. Grandpa was in the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco and wrote a story about his experience for Reader's Digest, but it was never published. He also knew Jack London. As he told me once, he knew Jack before he became famous and went a couple of times pirating oyster beds in San Francisco Bay. Grandpa died when I was about 10 years old.
Grandma Evans was my favorite. Madeline Kidson Evans was born in Wolverhampton, England and as the story is told, met my grandpa on a train and married him two days later. Hmmm...She made wonderful sugar cookies, told fabulous stories, knew all kinds of poems which she would recite to me and had this magical curio cabinet filled with trinkets and baubles that entertained me for hours.
(See post of Grandma's Poems and Other Stuff) Grandma had a sister who lived in Berkeley named Beatrice, or Auntie Bea. Auntie Bea suffered from terrible arthritis and was in a wheelchair. She was also a Christian Science Practicianer. I never really understood what that was, though I suspect it meant that as people had health issues, she counseled and prayed with them. I think. Bea had an African American maid who wore a white uniform and made me Vienna wieners from a can for lunch once and called them hot dogs. Grandma died in her early eighties.
On the other side of the family is where it gets REALLY weird. Grandma and Grandpa Daley lived in Napa and were part of my daily life. Grandpa Edward Leroy Daley, Sr. was a skinny, mean old guy who yelled all the time- mostly at Grandma. In fairness, Grandpa was sick with emphysema most of the time I knew him, but I don't think he was ever a nice person. He was a thin man who wore a cap and a frown most of the time, I only remember one conversation I had with him. He asked me about water skiing when I was about 7 years old and told me that he skied on barrel stays in the snow once. My most vivid memories were of him sitting on the front porch with a cigarette in one hand and his oxygen mask in the other, alternating hits. We were lucky he never blew Grandma and himself to Kingdom Come. He died when the Beatles were becoming popular. I don't know why I remember that.
Grandma Maude Ellen Daley, or Granny as we called her was the sweetest, kindest woman you would ever meet. She had a pair of dentures, but I only saw her wear them once or twice. She lived alone after Grandpa died but her house was always full of cousins and aunts. All of my mom's sisters lived in town (there were 6 kids, though Uncle Eddie died when I was 5) and we all were a big, sometimes happy, dysfunctional family. Granny raised my cousin Jim Hansen, Ilene's son. Jim hung out with "the Mexicans" and ended up in Juvenile Hall and then jail. Several times. He did straighten out much later in life but died at a young age of liver cancer.
Granny lived in a crummy old house that she rented from Mr. Chopping. She took in laundry and ironing and seemed to make do. She later moved to a little apartment when the house was finally condemned but that was near the end of her life. She died in her mid- eighties.
I never knew much about the ethnicity of the Daley side. Stories of Grandpa being a bootlegger during Prohibition caused some confusion over his real name as my mother was born with the last name of Hinke. She discovered this when she applied for Social Security. Grandma was raised in a Catholic convent. I don't know why.
That's the summary of my grandparents as I remember it. There are many colorful memories of both sides and I'll try to post those later.

What I can remember somewhat factually...

I was born with a cleft palate. I don't remember that. At all. I was told that I had plastic surgery at 18 months to repair it. Until that time, everything I ate came back out my nose. To this day, even with the reconstruction, I can't drink out of a water fountain without it coming out my nose.
My parents brought me home to 2540 Pacific Ave. Napa, Ca.

 I DO remember living there for the first eight years of my life. Our phone number was back in the day when we used a dial, there were party lines and all numbers had a prefix. For instance, our number was Baldwin 4-3261. That translates into 224-3261. (BA4-3261) I can still remember the phone number. Amazing, considering half of the time I rush into a room only to have forgotten the reason I'm there. We lived on a street lined with large sycamore trees and mostly retired folks. Two children lived up at the end of the street - Susie Simmons and Joyce Alley. My mother said the Alleys were trash. Susie was three years older than me and mean. Those were my only playmates other than my pekinese, Poody and various and sundry Siamese cats we always named Ching. I also had one of those little green turtles that came with a plastic dish with a fake palm tree.

We had an incinerator in the backyard (like everyone else) that we burned our garbage in. We had a round doughboy pool that kept me in favor with Susie Simmons, though her mother thought it was scandalous that I swam topless until I turned six.

In the summer before fourth grade my parents sold Pacific St. and we moved to "Bel Aire" on Rubican St. It was the first house I lived in with a garage, sidewalks and an abundance of children on the street. I don't really recall their names, but I do remember doing a lot of skating on the sidewalk in those skates with metal wheels that rattled so hard that you couldn't hold a conversation and were constantly in peril of losing your fillings. You had to attach them to your shoes with a tightening key. Oxfords were far superior to tennis shoes for this purpose. 

                              

We lived only on Rubican St. for a short period of time as my parents purchased a lot at Lake Shasta and a mobile home which they towed up there for "Daddy's Retirement". We never owned a house again and for the next ten years of my life, focus was always on When Daddy Retires and We Move to the Lake. 

We moved to an apartment with "an upstairs". We only lived there for less than a year but that was the year I played softball for The Parakeets. We moved several more times to a duplex, a triplex that was a converted Victorian and finally moved to a home in Yountville next to the Grapevine Inn where my mother worked as a waitress. I lived in the Yountville house until I met my husband and we moved to Newport Beach. (More on that under the post entitled, "How I met your Father")